I haven't been here much, lately.
I feel kinda bad about it.. is that sad?
I just haven’t felt like plugging in my computer. But I have been having a lot of issues with personal things from the past. I feel comfortable enough to share them here, with all of you. If you are a new follower, forgive me for sharing so much. If you are an older follower, please bear with me. I would say I am going through a period of growth, and I had to get this stuff out of my head and my heart. So, behind the jump, are some things I said to the “Funny” Uncle. There are mentions of molestation, and lots of foul words. If you are brave, keep reading.
Let me explain a couple of things to any of you who decide to read beyond the jump. I am not a girl to stand and take shit. When I found out that some of my family had been molested by this man, I wanted to kill him. I WAS A CHILD! It was half a life time ago that I understood that the things that happened to me was never proper. I am 26 years old. When I was 13, my dad was dying of cancer. Maybe two or so years before, my mom’s boyfriend made me call my mom on the payphone at the corner store in front of our house before I went to school. It had come out that my cousin (who molested me) had screamed like a tea pot about Butch molesting her. I was told, word for word by my mother, that I was to tell her anything that had happened. Dad had said he was going to seriously kill Butch if he had touched me. Not long after that, quite a few things happened to me, personally. I didn’t want to say anything because I KNEW that my mother wouldn’t let me go back and stay with my Granny and my Dad. It wasn’t right that I hid the things that happened to me from my mother, but I also knew I couldn’t tell her the truth. My mother found out the same things that you are tonight. I will have some discussions with her tomorrow, I think.Here is my message I sent to Butch on Facebook today. He deserved this. I just had to take some time out of my day to message you.
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First and foremost, I want you to know that I hate you. I truly hate you. I generally don’t waste my time with hate because it’s so damned useless. BUT YOU deserve every ounce of hate that I have in my body.
Of all of the people in MY family that are dead, why couldn’t it be you? You, the man who spent his entire life harming the people in my life that I care the most about. Do you realize that all of the things that you did are STILL effecting me and the people I care about? You still keep coming up when all of us have done our best to keep you out.
Did you know that when you were busy molesting Samantha, she turned around and molested me? But wait, YOU don’t care! You did whatever you wanted to, to all of us kids, and you had no care in the world about what happened. Though I will never be certain if you molested me, I often wonder if I sleep so miserably because you did things to me while I slept.
I don’t know how you live your life. It’s apparent to me that you don’t have the ability to confront whatever issues you have that caused you to do all of these things that you have done. You don’t have that ability because you are a weak individual, and you always will be.
Also, I wanted you to know that I have never forgotten that morning you tried to look down my shirt when I was fucking 10 or 11, while I was asleep. I didn’t stay asleep for long after that, I just laid there and hoped someone would wake up soon. I will NEVER EVER forget the day you tried to slip those two little blue pills in my Coke can while I was in the bathroom and Granny was asleep on the couch. But you remember that. You were sitting there playing Nintendo while I poured the rest of the coke out and collected those little pills. I said aloud that there was a cockroach in my Coke. But you and I both know that wasn’t the case. That night, when I went to bed with Granny, I showed her those fucking pills. She was astonished! She asked me where the hell I got those things. I told her I found them in my Coke can, and I was damned positive you had put them in there. She was asleep. Dad was asleep or gone, and you were the only one that could have. That was the day she had proof of who you were and what you had done, not only to me, but to all of the kids that said something to her in the past. What’s so funny is that she continued to believe whatever bullshit you were throwing her way. I will die knowing that she knew what you were before she died.
And while I am talking about Granny, I also wanted to tell you FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. Fuck you for taking her things and using her when she was obviously dying. You let her die, and I truly believe that you had a hand in her rapid decline. Fuck you for taking advantage of your own mother. You are disgusting for that, too.
Have you ever apologized to anyone for anything that you have done? What about your children, Butch? Do you even have the courtesy to let them tell you how mad they are at you? You should at least tell them you are sorry, even though we all know that would be a load of shit. You aren’t sorry. You will never be sorry. But now, your kids are adults. They have kids of their own. And I can’t even get half of them to talk to me because of YOU! THESE PEOPLE DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME BECAUSE THEY THINK I WANT SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU! Isn’t that amazing. You made decisions, and I don’t think for one second that you should be allowed around children. But, I will say that the children you sired through your years shouldn’t have a bred in idea that all of the Coble’s are bad people. Especially because of YOU. YOU are a piece of shit. Compared to you, I am Mother Theresa. I imagine that you are still living your life, and you don’t have a fucking care in the world. And that’s no surprise. Will I get a response from you? Probably not. But that’s okay. I want you to know that no matter what you say to me, I will never forgive you. You have hurt me, and you have hurt all of the people I love. I will never ever forgive you for Veronica, either. Think of all the time she could have spent with Granny if you weren’t such a fucking loser at life. If you could have just went away when we were all kids, what kind of life would we have had?
Again, I beg for someone to tell me, why aren’t you fucking dead yet?
And with that, I will leave you. I hope you rot in hell. Wait, I don’t have to hope. You will rot in hell. And I hope that whatever you are doing on the face of this planet is a living hell. And I hope that the last years of your life are miserable and disgusting, just like you. Fuck off and die, you child molesting piece of shit.
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And with that, if you read it all, I hope you understand this is a part of me. I was molested by a female cousin. She was molested by this man. So, even if he never touched me, he certainly had a hand in the same thing happening to me. It’s sad to me that people like this exist! And he has never been caught. Why? I am not sure. Partially, it’s my Granny’s fault because she didn’t want to believe. But I made her believe. And she knew what he was doing to her when she died. She told my mother on several occasions that Butch was pinching her Oxygen line while she slept. Truth be told, if I had the chance to kill the man, I would. I truly thought about it today. If I had the chance to kill him in the hospital, and if he was already dying, I would waltz my ass in there Kill Bill style and whistle while he died. Fucker.
And If you, or ANYONE you know has been molested, TELL SOMEONE!!
It’s not right to let someone take the innocence of a child and get away with it. Plus, molestation doesn’t always include sexual intercourse. It can mean touching, looking, etc. Stand up for the people that don’t have a voice. If I had the money, I would put a billboard up in Houston saying that if anyone has any information on putting this man away for the rest of his life, I would. If only I could win the lottery.
